PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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