she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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