After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
