So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
