Already got asked if we're dating
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
