I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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