that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
