Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
