If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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