I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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