Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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