ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
