you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
