can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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