i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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