but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
