Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
