I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
