just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
