FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
