But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
