How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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