she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
