ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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