id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
