Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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