so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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