we're blogging at a bar
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
