If i come over, it means nothing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
