Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
