Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
