Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
