Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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