Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
