i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
