I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
