i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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