They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
