how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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