I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
