hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
