You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
