walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
