Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
