If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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