it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
