i don't like sucking hair
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it because I queefed?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
