So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
