she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
