At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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