On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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