I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
